A common theme I see among entrepreneurs who have families is that they try to apply what works in business to their family. I understand why the idea is attractive. In business, we need to measure as much as we can to make sure we are effective and that our business is cash flow positive.
There certainly are some good concepts here such as:
- Defining a family mission and shared values: Just as businesses create mission statements to guide their direction, families can benefit from developing a unifying vision and clear values. This helps align everyone’s efforts and fosters a sense of purpose.
- Establishing clear roles and responsibilities: Assigning specific tasks or domains to family members reduces confusion, promotes accountability, and ensures that necessary work gets done, mirroring the division of labor in successful businesses.
- Scheduling regular meetings and open communication: Like business teams, families can hold meetings to discuss important decisions, set priorities, and ensure everyone’s voice is heard. This approach encourages thoughtful, collective decision-making and reduces chaos.
- Setting goals and tracking progress: Families can benefit from setting both short- and long-term goals, monitoring progress, and celebrating milestones, just as businesses do to maintain motivation and a sense of achievement.
- Implementing systems and processes: Developing routines, checklists, or management processes creates predictability and reduces stress, making family life smoother and more enjoyable.
- Separating emotions from decision-making: While family is inherently emotional, applying some business-like detachment can help prevent decisions driven solely by feelings, leading to more rational outcomes and healthier dynamics.
The problem I see with “running your family like a business” is that the goal of a business is to implement systems and produce a profit. This puts an emphasis on structure and outcomes. In business, if someone is not performing, they can be replaced. That is not the case with family.
This type of pressure can fuel overparenting, anxiety, and a focus on external markers of success (like college admissions) rather than fostering resilience, joy, and emotional well-being. It can blur emotional and professional boundaries. Family relationships are inherently emotional and complex. Applying business-like detachment can undermine the intimacy, trust, and unconditional support that families are meant to provide.
It can lead to a loss of flexibility and joy. Business systems are designed for efficiency and predictability, but family life often requires adaptability and space for spontaneity. Rigidly importing business processes can sap the joy and organic connection from family interactions, making home life feel transactional rather than nurturing.
It’s a struggle to clearly identify a structure for a family that is ever changing. What works now might not work as my kids get deeper into their teen years. Things change fast and it’s hard to forecast like you can with a business. There are foundational things that are important to us as a family and we have used systems at times to provide some structure and make it easier for us parents to manage things. We homeschooled our kids for a year and really needed to rely on systems. Now that they are back in school where their day is structured and controlled, we are less about that at home.
You don’t have to look too far to see examples of parents putting unnecessary pressure on their kids. I’ve seen this a lot in team sports.
I prefer “Family Stewardship” because it emphasizes responsible, caring management of family resources, relationships, and well-being first.
Stewardship is best defined as careful and responsible management of something entrusted to one’s care. My wife and children have been entrusted to my care. Because of that, I won’t put the same expectations on them as I would a business. I can pivot a business or close it and start another one. You can’t do that with a family, or at least you shouldn’t be allowed to.
The output might not always be measurable. I don’t care if it looks good on a chart. I’m raising people, not profits.
What expectations are you putting on your family that belong in a business instead?