There’s a lie that almost every ambitious man believes: “I’ll focus on my family when…”
When the business is established.
When I hit my financial goals.
When this busy season is over.
When the kids are older and can understand.
When I get that promotion.
When things slow down.
I believed some of these lies for years. I convinced myself that all the long hours, the distracted evenings, the weekends spent working were investments in my family’s future. I was building something for them, so surely they’d understand why I couldn’t be fully present right now.
But here’s the brutal truth: Later never comes.
There’s always another goal, another busy season, another opportunity that demands your attention. The goalpost keeps moving, and your kids keep growing.
I realized this when my oldest started playing sports. I had a choice to make: keep telling myself I’d be more involved “when things settled down,” or find a way to be present now.
That’s when I decided to coach. I knew that if I was the coach, I set the schedule, which was easier for me to manage. There were always business opportunities I had to say no to because I was at a game or had practice, but over a decade later, it’s been one of the greatest investments of my time.
Many of us are waiting for a version of our life that may never exist.
Your kids don’t need you when it’s convenient for your career. They need you now, in the mundane Tuesday afternoon moments, in the chaotic morning routines, in the bedtime stories when you’re exhausted.
The cost of “later” isn’t just missed moments, it’s the slow erosion of your relationships while you’re busy building a life you think they want.
Here’s what I’ve learned: You don’t get to pause your role as a father and husband while you build your career. Both happen simultaneously, or one suffers.
The good news? You don’t have to choose between family and goals. You just have to choose between family and the illusion that you’ll have unlimited time later to focus on them.
Later is a lie. Now is all you have.
What are you putting off until “later” that your family needs from you today?