I’ve said no to a lot of good opportunities.
Photography gigs that would require extensive travel, conflicting with my kids’ activities. Clients who demanded more involvement than I was willing to give. Business deals that looked great on paper but would have compromised my family-first commitment.
The one that stands out most was a client who gave me an ultimatum: Cancel a month-long family trip or lose his business. I’d still be working several hours each day during the vacation and would have easily exceeded expectations for the work. But he insisted I not take the trip if I wanted to keep his account.
I chose freedom with my family.
Most men would call that “bad business.” Some would question my work ethic or ambition. I’ve even had well-meaning people suggest I was being irresponsible as a provider.
But here’s what I’ve learned: You don’t need anyone’s permission to put your family first, except maybe your own.
The guilt you feel about prioritizing your family over career advancement? That’s not conviction, that’s cultural conditioning. You’ve been taught that a “good man” sacrifices everything for financial success, even if it costs him his relationships.
That’s backwards.
A good man builds a life where his family knows they matter more than any client, opportunity, or paycheck. Where his kids see him choose them consistently, not just when it’s convenient.
Yes, you need to provide for your family. But provision isn’t just financial, it’s emotional, spiritual, and relational. What good is a big bank account if your kids barely know you?
The permission you’ve been waiting for is this: It’s okay to design your life differently than everyone else expects.
It’s okay to turn down opportunities that don’t align with your values. It’s okay to set boundaries that protect your family time. It’s okay to define success by the quality of your relationships, not just the size of your income.
Your family doesn’t need your guilt about choosing them. They need your confidence in that choice.
What opportunity do you need permission to say no to?